I'm passing your future prison.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize