Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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