I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
