I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
