ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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