Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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