i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
