i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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