Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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