Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
