can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
