Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
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I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
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My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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