Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
