Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize