I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just google imaged poop.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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