This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
