I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
