Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
