11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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