Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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