Can Purell be used as lube?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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