I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
