Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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