So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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