Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
