i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
