I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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