We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
