My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
