I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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