i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
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He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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