Dual....:-)
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
