You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
