marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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