How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
