apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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