Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
