i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
