Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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