therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
