so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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