The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
