after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Enjoy the penises
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
