i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
