It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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