"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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