dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
