Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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