nut hugger
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
