All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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