He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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