dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
