Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit

(303): View more from Colorado

I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex

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(832): I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit (303): I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex http://tfl.nu/u4ul

Replies (8) Good night (2431) Bad night (628)
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(703): View more from Virginia

i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)

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(703): i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;) http://tfl.nu/0lh6

Replies (21) Good night (1968) Bad night (508)
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(727): View more from Florida

Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?

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(727): Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose? http://tfl.nu/qulw

Replies (112) Good night (1170) Bad night (16125)
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(850): View more from Florida

my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?

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(850): my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom? http://tfl.nu/5x0x

Replies (48) Good night (6301) Bad night (1714)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

then he tried to convert me to islam

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(203): then he tried to convert me to islam http://tfl.nu/h9gq

Replies (23) Good night (1452) Bad night (5020)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture

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(217): Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture http://tfl.nu/3npb

Replies (11) Good night (3340) Bad night (960)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.

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(803): Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now. http://tfl.nu/1qen

Replies (9) Good night (2667) Bad night (690)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher

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(401): She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher http://tfl.nu/uenp

Replies (16) Good night (2272) Bad night (2507)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?

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(937): I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality? http://tfl.nu/z0do

Replies (11) Good night (2756) Bad night (803)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.

(423): View more from Tennessee

strike, motherfucker.

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(423): You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em. (423): strike, motherfucker. http://tfl.nu/ain2

Replies (4) Good night (2141) Bad night (572)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.

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(217): Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons. http://tfl.nu/9jo6

Replies (9) Good night (1430) Bad night (651)
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(561): View more from Florida

Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?

(1-561): View more from Florida

Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.

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(561): Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache? (1-561): Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night. http://tfl.nu/sa3s

Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (254)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown

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(816): Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown http://tfl.nu/kwyi

Replies (2) Good night (494) Bad night (247)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor

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(609): I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor http://tfl.nu/zg4s

Replies (1) Good night (345) Bad night (357)
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(253): View more from Washington

Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?

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(253): Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand? http://tfl.nu/rm7i

Replies (5) Good night (594) Bad night (193)

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