Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  dude did u upper deck my toilet?

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  haha like two months ago

  (314): View more from Missouri

  i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u

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  (314): dude did u upper deck my toilet? (1-314): haha like two months ago (314): i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u http://tfl.nu/8xxw
  Replies (38) Good night (976) Bad night (4331)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.

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  (940): I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you. http://tfl.nu/qbhx
  Replies (11) Good night (806) Bad night (3806)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.

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  (301): All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order. http://tfl.nu/n0bh
  Replies (12) Good night (928) Bad night (3712)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.

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  (206): This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/tgbz
  Replies (11) Good night (3004) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.

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  (303): She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan. http://tfl.nu/jf6q
  Replies (41) Good night (11900) Bad night (2165)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.

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  (305): look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no. http://tfl.nu/new9
  Replies (23) Good night (1570) Bad night (3927)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious

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  (918): It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious http://tfl.nu/z2uj
  Replies (7) Good night (1107) Bad night (2443)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.

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  (440): I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job. http://tfl.nu/xaqo
  Replies (13) Good night (968) Bad night (2923)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.

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  (612): The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt. http://tfl.nu/1yd4
  Replies (4) Good night (3163) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket

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  (618): We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket http://tfl.nu/a9al
  Replies (4) Good night (1949) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?

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  (561): We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us? http://tfl.nu/dqdu
  Replies (12) Good night (3850) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.

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  (403): They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again. http://tfl.nu/2yc4
  Replies (5) Good night (622) Bad night (1327)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader

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  (484): Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader http://tfl.nu/1luq
  Replies (6) Good night (1038) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets

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  (561): I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets http://tfl.nu/vj1n
  Replies (1) Good night (369) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Rodger that.

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  (757): Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again. (931): Rodger that. http://tfl.nu/w7uc
  Replies (3) Good night (384) Bad night (145)

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