Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.

(865): View more from Tennessee

the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"

(865): View more from Tennessee

this medicine is soooo good.

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(865): i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone. (865): the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now" (865): this medicine is soooo good. http://tfl.nu/gt3j

Replies (3) Good night (1702) Bad night (568)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance

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(918): Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance http://tfl.nu/628h

Replies (12) Good night (3441) Bad night (617)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"

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(304): my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos" http://tfl.nu/exf3

Replies (5) Good night (876) Bad night (3623)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.

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(919): It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/wt9b

Replies (14) Good night (946) Bad night (5264)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."

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(267): Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too." http://tfl.nu/ac9x

Replies (4) Good night (2731) Bad night (1109)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?

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(919): Have you ever tried running while drinking 151? http://tfl.nu/mfna

Replies (4) Good night (2258) Bad night (1417)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.

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(908): Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas. http://tfl.nu/cnc6

Replies (13) Good night (3404) Bad night (778)
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(419): View more from Ohio

You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"

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(419): You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?" http://tfl.nu/acel

Replies (7) Good night (2824) Bad night (741)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.

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(501): gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable. http://tfl.nu/22ca

Replies (21) Good night (4244) Bad night (1281)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key

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(609): Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key http://tfl.nu/pj3h

Replies (7) Good night (2033) Bad night (819)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.

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(920): Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets. http://tfl.nu/3ocj

Replies (12) Good night (882) Bad night (1772)
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(712): View more from Iowa

My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.

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(712): My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men. http://tfl.nu/xu6z

Replies (3) Good night (848) Bad night (478)
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(520): View more from Arizona

So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational

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(520): So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational http://tfl.nu/op3j

Replies (1) Good night (744) Bad night (496)
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(477): View more from

He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER

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(477): He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER http://tfl.nu/0g26

Replies (8) Good night (439) Bad night (293)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.

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(+44): Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement. http://tfl.nu/yfve

Replies (8) Good night (1496) Bad night (413)

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