I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?