I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
