well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
