good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.