I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.