Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  "You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): "You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB http://tfl.nu/8qh8
  Replies (4) Good night (934) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  The maid of honor just puked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): The maid of honor just puked. http://tfl.nu/qiyl
  Replies (5) Good night (1956) Bad night (1231)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion. http://tfl.nu/pxq1
  Replies (15) Good night (660) Bad night (1895)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy. http://tfl.nu/1yd9
  Replies (19) Good night (3416) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/3yj1
  Replies (10) Good night (5543) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and" http://tfl.nu/hqw1
  Replies (20) Good night (6357) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't know where my bra went.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I don't know where my bra went. (1-303): Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy. http://tfl.nu/03yq
  Replies (22) Good night (7893) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless http://tfl.nu/5o22
  Replies (10) Good night (1844) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me. http://tfl.nu/o6eb
  Replies (6) Good night (2752) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment. http://tfl.nu/5sgm
  Replies (2) Good night (1559) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow http://tfl.nu/f59o
  Replies (9) Good night (983) Bad night (1919)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine" http://tfl.nu/ib5o
  Replies (6) Good night (935) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment http://tfl.nu/7mc6
  Replies (3) Good night (1736) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you. http://tfl.nu/0isx
  Replies (4) Good night (297) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out http://tfl.nu/jvnh
  Replies (1) Good night (545) Bad night (233)

Randomize