This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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