I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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