I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.