i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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