what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
