Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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