he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
