I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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