cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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