Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
