Where are you?
In a non slutty way
barbara walters just said penis...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
