I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Go christen that room with your naked body.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
