The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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