dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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