Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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